Is Your New Years' Resolution To Meet Someone New?

So you're single, totally unattached, and you've decided it's time to meet someone new. Well, you should be happy to know this is the best time of the year to try.

When I say "best time," I mean immediately -- this instant! This is not the time to procrastinate. As soon as you finish reading this blog, log onto the Internet and register for an online dating service, or pick up the phone and call a match making service, or get dressed and force yourself to attend a single's dance or even a speed-dating event at a local pub.

If you have ever considered trying one of these "proactive" measures, do it right now. After all, everyone else is.

In the 23 years I ran a dating service, the first week of January was always the busiest time of year, when the most people joined, and we therefore had the largest pool of available singles for new members to meet.

And why is the first week of January so busy? Obviously, the main answer is New Year's Resolutions. For a single man or woman, the three most common resolutions are to stop smoking, to lose weight, and to start a new relationship.

The most important of those resolutions to improve one's chances of meeting someone is the first one, to quit smoking. Sure, if you are obese, it's helpful (also for health reasons) to lose weight, but nothing improves one's marketability in the dating world more than to quit smoking.

As for starting a new relationship, I wish I had the proverbial nickel for every time I heard someone say, "This past holiday season was the last one I'm going to spend drinking eggnog alone with my Aunt Aggie."


Another reason January is such a busy month for singles' organizations and businesses is that few people try and meet someone during the holidays. It's just too hectic, and for some people, too depressing. It's far easier to tell oneself, "AFTER the holidays, I am going to make a real effort to start a new relationship."

Finally, another reason January is such a busy month is that many dysfunctional couples don't want to break up during the holidays. So they wait until January, pick a fight with one another, and then immediately begin the search to find a new relationship.


So Happy New Year and get moving!

TWO GREAT LINKS!

I always like to point out differences between men and women and the way their brains function.
One of the major problems in ALL male-female relationships is the lack of understanding they have for one another.

So please check out this link!

Brains.wmv

And this one is especially for married men!

http://www.bestviral.com/video/19188/beware_of_the_doghouse_hilarious

Happy New Year!

Did the Power Outage Affect Your Relationship

Wasn't this a fun weekend for so many of us living in New England? And I know that many people still don't have power as I write this on Wednesday, December 17.

So how did your relationship handle all the stress? Stress layered on top of the usual Holiday stress, and layered upon the financial stress of this "ecnomic downturn."

My wife and I "evacuated" our house and moved into a pet-friendly motel in Maine with our dog and cat and their "stuff." The motel had no Internet access and no working television. So we were forced for three days to listen to the radio, read, do crossword puzzles, and talk. It was sort of like life before the 1950s.

And you know what? We actually had a good time and communicated better than ever with each other. Interesting.

AFTER THE HOLIDAYS

“After the holidays” is a popular expression that people use at this time of the year, as in “After the holidays I will quit smoking” or “After the holidays I will start my diet and join a gym.”

Single people frequently say “After the holidays I will really try and meet someone.” (Many singles don’t even try to meet someone new during the holidays.) Those statements are then neatly folded into New Years’ Resolutions expressed with the same fortitude that “Survivor’s” Jeff Probst uses when exclaiming “The tribe has spoken.”

So if you have ever considered using a dating service, make sure to join in January, which is by far their busiest time of year. The first two weeks of January are the equivalent of “Black Friday,” the day after Thanksgiving and the busiest shopping day of the year for most retailers. Consequently, dating services have their largest pool of members in January and can offer single and divorced men and women the best possible opportunity to meet somebody.

A Reaction To My Column

This week I published a column asking people to "Don't forget your single friends at the holidays."

One regular reader sent me a long but very interesting email, that I decided to repeat here in full:

"Hi, again, Steve - I enjoyed your column yesterday. I've been single at the holidays and remember wishing I was at the Candlelight Stroll in a romantic scenario rather than with my single girlfriends. I've also been a couple at the holidays, and you know what, Steve? There's a downside to that, too. While I think what guys want at the holidays is Not To Be Alone, what women want is the Magical Holiday Scenario and well, guys are guys and even once they've hunted down a woman, they still want to watch sports and get drunk.

"I was single for a long time before finding my significant other. The first Christmas we were together, only two months after meeting, I was overcome with holiday fantasies. We would stroll through Market Square, hand in hand in the snow, stopping to look at the lights, and have hot chocolate at Breaking New Grounds. We would search out the perfect tree and decorate it while playing carols. Christmas Eve we would go out to for a romantic dinner, then come home and watch a holiday movie, in the dark, with only the lights of the tree to brighten the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My S.O., while keep in mind still in the throes of infatuation, did not want to walk in the snow. And he saw no reason to drive to a Christmas tree farm when Home Depot was selling trees for $20. And the romantic Christmas Eve? We did go to dinner, but when we got home, he got caught up in a rerun of "In the Heat of the Night" and had no desire whatsoever to watch Bing Crosby in "White Christmas." He's a good man, but since we've been together, my holiday reality has fallen far short of my vision.

"You can relay 100 stories of woman saying their guys LOVE to trim the tree, LOVE to hang lights, planned a surprise horse drawn carriage ride through the snow. For every story, I can tell you 10 of guys who didn't understand why newspaper didn't make fine wrapping paper, who didn't "get" what goes in a stocking and put bananas and tinsel instead, who thought Christmas Day meant Christmas Sex and was not happy to find out otherwise. (All true) The truth is women go crazy at Christmas and we know it, and we can't stop it, because somewhere programmed in us is the desire for the "perfect holiday" and we believe once we're a couple, our other half will have that same Norman Rockwell desire as well. My friends and I annually share stories of holiday reality vs. holiday fantasy. One friend's husband complained on Christmas Eve, "I never get any time to myself," and another's showed up eating a baloney sandwich and drinking a beer while the kids were opening presents, and didn't understand that it wasn't the "Christmasy" breakfast my friend had planned.

"My point is that while singles long to be couples, especially around the holidays, being in a couple in December doesn't mean a wonderland of happiness. Single or not, my girlfriends and I still need each other to get through this time of year!"

Any comments?